HOPE THIS ENCOURAGES ANY DEAR SISTER WHO VALUES THIS HIGH CALLING TO EVERY MOTHER AND WIFE...
Journal for Biblical
Manhood and Womanhood, Fall 2006, published by The Council for Biblical
Manhood and Womandhood, p.76-79
(emphases mine)
“Future Homemakers”- Nicole Whitacre, Homemaker, Author-
Fairfax, Virginia
(1)
As a young woman, I often lay in bed
at night and wondered about my future. I
stared hard into the darkness, as if God had put the answers there. I had a longing to do great things for God. I imagined myself as a missionary in another
country, maybe even a nurse. (I assumed
the tendency to faint at the sight of blood would not be a problem.) I had visions of speaking to crowds of women,
leading many to the gospel.
What I
didn’t yet understand was that God’s plan for me was greater than what
my imagination could conjure up. It was
also very different than what I thought.
How about
you? What are your dreams and aspirations for your future? How do you answer the well-meaning adults who
ask about your plans after high school?
It may
surprise you to learn that God in the Bible has already given you a sneak peek
into your future. As women, we are all
appointed to be keepers of the home (Prov. 31:10-31; 1 Tim 5:14; Titus 2:5).
Someday you may be called to love a husband and bring up children and
make a home for them. Or as a single woman,
you may be entrusted with a home from which you extend hospitality and vital
service to your church and community.
While you may pursue many other God-honoring tasks or occupations
throughout your lifetime, you are also called to be a homemaker.
This is our
purpose in life, what John Angell James calls a “woman’s mission”—to “affect
society through the medium of family influence.” (2) You see, being feminine isn’t just who we
are; it’s also what we do. Our feminine
identity comes with a unique task: to change the world by devoting ourselves to
home life.
Now this
does not mean that the Bible confines girls and women to their homes. The Proverbs 31 woman—the ideal
homemaker—pursued endeavors outside of the home for the good of her family. And, of course, single women will have
careers that require them to work beyond the home. But Scripture unapologetically sets forth the
high priority of the home for each and every woman.
Although
this is our clear mission from God, not many young women aspire to be
homemakers these days. While there are
many other worthy careers they may consider, homemaking isn’t usually on the
list of desirable options.
However, it
wasn’t so long ago that women thought differently about homemaking. As author Danielle Crittenden points out,
“Whether it’s the pleasure of being a wife or of raising children or of making
a home—[these] were, until the day before yesterday, considered the most
natural things in the world.” (3) Today the most natural thing in the world is
for girls to consider any career except
that of homemaker. So what
happened? When did homemaking fall off
the radar screen for young women?
To make a
very long story short, forty years ago a revolution known as the feminist
movement set out to “liberate” our mothers’ generation from being tied down to
the home. And part and parcel of the
feminist message was “a disdain of domesticity and a contempt for housewives.”
(4)
And there
is perhaps no greater measurement of the success of feminism than the fact that
our generation no longer considers homemaking a viable career. As my mom [Carolyn Mahaney] has written,
“Feminist philosophy has become thoroughly integrated into the values of
mainstream society—so much so, that it has been absorbed and applied by the majority
of women, even many who do not consider themselves feminist.” (5) The
feminist revolution is not a revolution anymore; it’s simply a way of life.
While
motherhood has made a comeback in the ratings of late—and only as a worthy
interlude in an otherwise successful career—homemaking in its full scope
remains unpopular. Thus you may not have
thought of housewives (a term usually employed while looking down on someone)
as being world-changers before. But
looks can be deceiving. True greatness
isn’t always flashy or attention-grabbing when it arrives on the scene. I didn’t see it at first either.
My mom is a
homemaker. I grew up with a living model
of a woman who utilized as her intelligence, creativity, and energy to create a
home and care for her husband and children.
But I didn’t always fully appreciate the true significance of her chosen
career.
Sure,
I wanted to get married and have kids someday and have a home of my own, but I
lacked a biblical understanding and
vision of the importance and priority of my future calling. However, Mom did not allow me to remain
ignorant for long. Through Scripture,
hours of conversations, and helpful books, she presented to me the noble
calling of the homemaker and its powerful effect in the world.
I learned
that, as John Angell James wrote, quoting Adolphe Monod, “The greatest
influence on earth whether for good or for evil, is possessed by woman.” (6) Modern-day
pastor John Macarthur echoes his sentiment:
“The family might survive the problems with children
and husband-fathers if the
women
who are wives and mothers were faithful to their godly calling. Their influence
is
so strong and pervasive in the home that
it can mitigate the other influences... when
wife
and mother fulfills her God-given duty, she acts as a barrier against that
family’s
dishonoring
God and His Word.” (7)
Mom not only taught me of the power
of a homemaker’s influence in the world but about the fulfilling nature of her
job. Dorothy Patterson elaborates,
“Homemaking,
if pursued with energy, imagination, and skills, has as much challenge
and
opportunity, success and failure, growth and expansion, perks and incentives as
any corporation, plus something no other position offers—working for people you
love most
and
want to please the most!” (8)
Through my mother’s example and
training, I caught a vision of the importance of my future mission. I knew that whether or not I got married,
and no matter what other tasks God might have for me, I wanted to fulfill my
biblical calling to be a “keeper of the home.”
Today, although I may not be doing
important works by society’s standards, I am doing great things for God, by His
grace. Although God did not call me to
be a missionary in another country, I am able to share the gospel with my little
boy, Jack. While I may not be an
encouragement to thousands, I can pray for and encourage Steve, the godly man
who is my husband. And I finally
realized that I wasn’t cut out to be a nurse, but each and every day I have the
opportunity to serve the church and reach out to the community, all from the
base of my home.
I know many other women, married
and single, who are quietly and without fanfare starting a
counterrevolution. They are intelligent,
talented, godly visionaries who are seeking to change their world by answering
God’s call to be homemakers.
Carolyn McCulley is one such single
woman. She has turned her back on the
feminist theology she formerly embraced and now enthusiastically serves others
through her home. While she holds down a
demanding job, she also thrives on hosting singles and married couples alike in
her home for fellowship or evangelism (and even gourmet meals!). She loves to have children—especially her
nieces and nephews—spend the night. In
fact, Carolyn has recently written a book to encourage other single women to
embrace God’s feminine design. (9)
Another revolutionary is my friend,
Jonalee Earles, a young wife and mother.
She was a straight-A student in high school who went on to study
interior design and could have had her pick of career options. However, she’s chosen to invest her creative
talent into making a pleasant and delightful home for her husband and their
three small children. Jonalee is a
wonderful wife, and exceptional mom, and a skilled and artistic homemaker. In her spare time she helps other women
decorate their homes.
Stephanie Pyle is a future homemaker. A bright college student at the local
university, she does not hesitate to tell others that she hopes to make use of
her degree as a wife and mother some day.
Her fellow students are perplexed but curious. Stephanie is a young woman who has a clear vision of the importance of the home.
Carolyn, Jonalee, and Stephanie are
participating in what one person called “the great task of renovating the world”:
“Even
if we cannot reform the world in a moment, we can begin the work by reforming
ourselves
and our households—it is woman’s mission.
Let her not look away from her
own
little family circle for the means of producing moral and social reforms, but
begin
at
home.” (10)
You want to join us? I must warn you that the world will not
applaud you. Or worse, they may look
down on you and criticize you.
I guarantee there won’t be awards given out for homemakers—at least, not
in this world. And we probably won’t see
the effects right away. But our influence will surely outlast our
lives.
Actually you don’t have to wait until a future day or time to get
started on your mission. You can begin
today. My mom, Carolyn Mahaney,
will tell you how in the following article [“Homemaking Internship”- same
journal]. But for the moment: consider:
When the next person asks about your plans after high school, how will you
respond? Will you join the vast number
of women who have tossed away the keys to the home? Or will you join the homemaker’s mission to
change the world with the gospel?
1-
From Girl
Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood by Carolyn and
Nicole Mahaney, Crossway Books, 2005. P. 143-48.
2-
John Angell James, Female Piety: A Young Woman’s Friend and Guide, Soli Deo Gloria,
1860, repr 1995. p. 91-92
3-
Danielle Crittenden, What Our Mother’s Didn’t Tell Us, Simon and Schuster, 1999. p.22
4-
F. Carolyn Graglia, Domestic Tranquility, Spence,1998. p.92
5-
Carolyn Mahaney- Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother, Crossway,
2003. p. 103
6-
James, Female
Piety, p.72
7-
John MacArthur, foreword to Pat Ennis and Lisa
Tatlock, Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God,
2003.
8-
Dorothy Patterson, “The High Calling of Wife and
Mother in Biblical Perspective” in Recovering
Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (ed. John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Crossway,
1991). P. 377
9-
Carolyn McCulley, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
Trusting God with a Hope Deferred, Crossway, 2004.
10-
Barbara Welter, “The Cult of True
Womanhood:1820-1860”, American Quarterly,
18 (Summer 1966), 53, 174; quoted in Susan Hunt, The True Woman, Crossway, 1997, p.24.
Christian Living in the Home- Jay Adams, Presbyterian
and Reformed Publishing, 1972, p.44.
“The institution of marriage is not
a casual one. The study of marriage, of
the family, and of home life is the study of the most fundamental and basic
institution in society. The church (in
its formal sense) was not yet founded when God established the family as an institution. The state as a formal institution was not yet
in existence when the family was brought into being. The family is foundational; it was first
because it is basic. And it is just
because it is first in Scripture that we must make every effort to preserve the
family. The guns are pointed at the very
existence of the family itself, and we will be in serious trouble if we do not
defend it from the attack. It is crucial
to such a defense for Christians once again to understand and to reaffirm the
basic Biblical principles concerning the family.”
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